How to Support Your Wife After a Miscarriage

If your wife has recently experienced a miscarriage, you may be asking yourself how you can support her during this difficult time. A miscarriage can be a devastating and emotionally difficult experience. It is important to be there for your wife and to offer her the support and care she needs.

Listen & validate her feelings

One way to support your wife after a miscarriage is to listen and validate her feelings. This means allowing her to express her emotions and acknowledge that what she is feeling is normal. It can be tempting to try to fix the situation or offer advice but it is important to simply be there for her and to let her know that you are listening and that you care.

Ask her specific questions

We've all been there - being asked "are you okay?" over and over again is not helpful. We often burst into tears because, no we're not okay, or we say "yes" because that is easier. In order to support your wife after a miscarriage, you want to ask her more prompting and open-ended questions. This will allow her to really express what is on her mind. It may be difficult to approach at first but getting into the root of the emotions will be more beneficial in the long run. Some questions you can ask her are:

• How are you feeling today?
• What thoughts have come to your mind that you have had a hard time processing?
• What had you planned to say to the baby when they were born? Do you want to share those word with me?
• What are you grateful for today?
• What can I do to help you better?
• What do you need from me?

Refrain from asking her "why are you upset?" or "what's wrong?" when she becomes emotional. You both know why she is upset, so take this time to validate those emotions.

Understand the physical recovery

Regardless of how far along your wife was when she miscarried, she will experience physical changes and physical aspects of recovery that she will need to navigate. Based on when the pregnancy loss happened, your wife will experience different things. It is important that you understand what that recovery entails so you can support not only her through it, but also you.

We go into much more detail on how the physical recovery of pregnancy loss in our on-demand courses for miscarriage.

Find her External Support

Our Miscarriage Support Course exists for this reason - you can access it here. 

Lend a hand around the house

Another way to support your wife after a miscarriage is to help her with practical tasks and responsibilities. This can include taking care of household chores, running errands, or taking care of any children you may have. By taking on some of these tasks, you can give your wife the time and space she needs to grieve and take care of herself.

Offer comforting words

It can also be helpful to offer emotional support and encouragement as a way to support your wife after a miscarriage. This can include offering words of comfort, giving her a hug, or simply being present for her. It is important to let her know that you are there for her and that you will support her through this difficult time.

Get her a journal

Verbally expressing your emotions can be extremely challenging, at first. Oftentimes, writing your thoughts down can be a therapeutic way to heal and gather your true emotions. Buying your wife a journal may help her express what it is she is feeling.

We have put together a free journal exercise to help with expressing thoughts after a miscarriage that you can share with her. Using these prompts will allow you to know better how to support her after a miscarriage.

Don't forget about you

It is extremely important to take care of yourself during this time. Although you may feel that your wife is taking on the majority of the pain from experiencing the physical aspects of a miscarriage, you are feeling the same emotional pain she is. You cannot forget to do your own healing.

This can include reaching out to your own support network, talking to a therapist, or participating in a support group for men whose wives have experienced a miscarriage. By taking care of yourself, you can better support your wife and ensure that you are both able to cope with the situation.

Heal together, not alone

You are both going through something extremely challenging. Rather than thinking only your wife is suffering and wondering how to support your wife after a miscarriage, remember you are in this together.

Be open with each other and be in the healing process together. Ask each other open-ended questions like we laid out previously. Suggest both of you practice a journalling exercise. Take up a new hobby together to get your mind in a new spot.

Whatever it is - be in it together.

Know everyone grieves & heals differently

It is also important to remember that everyone's experience with a miscarriage is unique. What your wife's experience is may be different from others. How you are feeling may be different from others. It is important to be patient and to allow her the time and space she needs to grieve and heal. By offering emotional support, practical assistance, and understanding, you can be a valuable source of support for your wife during this difficult time.

By just researching this topic you are doing the right thing in order to support your wife after a miscarriage. If you are looking for more in-depth support, we offer on-demand courses for all stages of pregnancy that you can find below.